Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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