Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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