Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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