hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
