We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
