Porn is love you can see.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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