Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
