Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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