I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
