I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
