i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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