I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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