I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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