Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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