do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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