the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
