i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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