did you get engaged???
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
