pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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