Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Watching her eat just hurts me
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
