I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
