Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
