I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
