I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
