Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Green mimosas i think yes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
