marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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