i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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