I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
