What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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