Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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