things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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