I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
