I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
