Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
