4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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