How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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