put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
you guys were way drunker than both of me
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
