you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
