Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize
