i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
