We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
