Are we in a gay sports bar?
Can Purell be used as lube?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
