pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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