Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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