I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
