five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize