I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize