Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
