You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize