just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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