I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
