Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
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