I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
