On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
