Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
