Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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