I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
