I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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