i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
