but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
