It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
