Porn is love you can see.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
