My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
