I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
