I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
