I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
