he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
