just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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