There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
