I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
