it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
