I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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