So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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