now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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