Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
