I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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