Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I could fuck to npr.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
