I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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