i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize