Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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