your room smells of hookers.
And success
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
