I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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