i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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