Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
