Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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