Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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