Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
